Monday, July 27, 2015

Sweat, Tears, or the Sea

There's a quote out there that states "The cure for anything is salt water. Sweat, tears, or the sea." This quote has always stayed with me and resonated in the hard times, the stressful times, and the down right shitty times.  While not much a crier, the other two halves of this quote are spot on.  While in college, I used to drive the 45 minutes to the Atlantic coast off of Maine and New Hampshire in the middle of the night when I was miserable and eager to leave the institutionalized life of a university setting.  And for a few consecutive years I found myself traveling to countries along an ocean shore where I could smell the salty air and surf in the rugged waves.  Now living in the landlocked center of the country, it's harder to run away to the waves and the sand.  But there's always sweat. And I get very sweating climbing mountains.  So away to the mountains.

I've entered a stage of transition in my life.  I have been unhappy and struggling to fulfill my personal interests and seek my own happiness lately.  And in the past when I feel unhappy, I change something.  This time it was much harder to change the circumstances.  I have hurt and been hurt, but I do know that I want to get back on track to a life or adventure, love and happiness, and this is the first painful and necessary step.  The world is a very big and wonderful place, full of new people, new experiences and new map quadrants to explore.

So, for me, the first step is returning to the mountains and deserts I know.  Familiar places, new places, but the feeling is the same.  The sweat is pouring from my skin, cleansing me from the inside out, releasing toxins, negative energy, and painful emotions.  I am exhausted at night, yet I am eager each morning for more.  I hike down canyons, straining to see whats beyond the next curve, or up mountains, searching for the highest point.  This is the life that I want to be living.  Dirty, smelly, smiling.

My trusty blue Subaru as my one-bedroom studio, I am off to rediscover the lands that I love so much, healing lands.  I will be driving around the west, visiting old friends, making new ones, living on my own, yet staying connected to everyone around me.  I want to smile at people, and see smiles back.  I want to be happy again. This is what makes me happy. Sleeping outside, swimming in waterfalls, hiking in remote, rarely seen areas.

It all started with the innocent question of "what's next?" And I felt there wasn't a "next." I've missed that feeling of having something to train for, plan for, save for.  I didn't want to settle for a life that made me unhappy, unsatisfied.  And now, there's a "next" in the works.

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